Although I had told my dad I would be doing homework, I was really going to be masturbating. I had been watching a movie all morning and the characters had a lot of sex in the movie, so I was very horny and needed to relieve myself. I had just turned eighteen, and did not have a boyfriend. I had had sex before, and loved it, and found that the best way to masturbate was to watch porn and hump a pillow until I orgasmed. I opened up a porn site and picked a clip that was 20 minutes and was about a babysitter fucking the kids. I wadded up my pillow and stuck it between my legs, then climbed onto my bed and lay down. I humped that pillow for 20 minutes straight, groaning and bucking my back back and legs until I had a violent orgasm and and started to cum. I stuck my finger in my vagina and licked the cum off my fingers. I put my clothes back on and sprayed some perfume on to cover up the smell. I was not stupid, though, so I opened up the history to clear what I. “A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”This One Is Compliments of Gary:A Frenchwoman took her little daughter to the Louvre where they saw a statue of a nude male. “What is that?” asked the child pointing to the penis. “Nothing, nothing at all, Cherie,” replied the mother. “I want one,” said the child. The mother tried to focus her daughter’s attention on a more suitable subject, but the little girl persisted. “I want one just like that,” she kept repeating. At last the mother said, “If you are a good girl and stop thinking about it now, when you grow up, you will have one.” “And if I’m bad?” asked the little one.“Then,” answered the mother, “You will have many.”“Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?”“Yes. What can I do for you?”“I’m calling to report ‘bout my neighbor Virgil Smith ... He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.”“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”The next day, the Sheriff’s.
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